Scales of War

Madmartigan's Journal

Tiamat is dead, to begin with. That bitch put up a hell of fight, one of godly proportions you could even say. But she was still no match for Madmartigan’s Men & Ithyk, as we landed blow upon mighty blow on her. If I had more hands, I would have choked all five heads but instead I had to settle for ripping her a new one with the spear of destiny.
The Men & Ithyk are already turning her heads into hats and making plans for the future. I can see how eager some are to move on, but I can feel Madmartigan planning an epic party, one to end all parties. My work here is done, so I’ll be giving Madmartigan full control again, confident that he will know what to do with his god-like power now. I sense in him an urge to continue partying. I think I’ll allow him to find me and the others once a year to fulfill this need. I don’t want to see what would happen to him if his urges were not occasionally sated. Once I give him control back, I don’t think I’ll be able to regain it. He’s become too powerful. So a yearly bash should keep him from going over the bend into evil-town. Ugh, I’ve been in his mind too long, his language is infecting me. Time to enter the time stream and see what else I can fix. Peace out, bitches.


Madmartigan's Journal: Book 3, page 11
In which Madmartigan correctly uses the word "metaphor"

So we’ve saved Bahamut’s life twice now. I think we get some kind of medal if we do it a third time. I suppose the first time might not count since he was already dead, but don’t fucking split hairs with me. I saved a god’s life twice.
Also me and the Men & Ithyk totally embarrassed a couple more of Tiamat’s exarchs. I think we’re going to run out of powerful dragons to jam my spear into eventually. That wasn’t a metaphor.
Anywho, we saved big B again, broke Tiamat’s armies and then laughed as the good guys kicked major ass.
Then we had some tasty cakes and talked about heading to her lair to put her down. My spear throbbed with desire at this thought. That wasn’t a metaphor, either.
Yes it was.

Madmartigan's Journal: Book Three, page 10
Reflections of Greatness

I find that I can no longer relax like I used to. Gone are the days of pleasures of the flesh. Women, food, fights and liquor no longer soothe the burning of my soul like doing good helping those in need!
Fooled you! Holy shit, did you buy all that uppity speech stuff? Man. We had a couple weeks off after saving Bahamut’s life and I screwed so many broads I’m surprised my dick didn’t fall off. Thank the gods for Mishak’s Penis Poultice.
Real talk for a minute: I’m fairly bummed by the loss of Amaryia. I know she needed to do what she did to save the B man, but still. It sucks.
Speaking of Bahamut, he summoned us to his chambers by way of his aspect, a pretty dope Silver dragon. He really seemed to like me, I think we’re besties now.
Bahamut told us Tiamat was holed up in the City of Brass with the efreets, so we zipped over there to kick some ass and show them how we’re all DTF.
So of course we have to go in through the sewers, which are full of elemental chaos and monsters. Time to get my grab &stab on.

The Way of the Bat: Justice Tempered in Darkness – Chapter 9, Part: 4 (EXCERPTS)

With Bahamut restored to life we were allowed some time off while he recuperated and restored his court to order. The others took to their normal vices. I spent the nights patrolling the streets of Sayre and checking on Madmartigan and the others from time to time to make sure their revelries didn’t get too out of hand.

And then in the afternoon one day spotters glimpsed a dragon approaching. We stepped out to meet the dragon, a silver dragon with gleaming scales. It was clear that he didn’t really appreciate us, or his assignment of bringing us to Bahamut, but he brought us to Bahamut all the same. Madmartigan certainly enjoyed the fact that the dragon was annoyed. The dragon brought us before Bahamut, whose forces had laid siege to the City of Brass.

Bahamut greeted us and began discussing plans for our attack on Tiamat. Tiamat, still reeling from failing to actually kill Bahamut, was apparently hiding out with the efreets of the City of Brass. And so it fell to Madmartigan’s Men and Ithyk to sneak inside the city through the warrens beneath it. Somewhere in the tunnels there is a portal that will allow us to enter the city. A larger force would be unable to sneak in, but the size of our group, and our experience in such matters, made us the perfect choice for this task. The situation was complicated by whatever bargain Tiamat had made with the Lord of the Efreets. We would need to enlist the aid of the efreets themselves. The efreets respect strength and pride, so we would have no trouble with that part… hopefully.

We were all ready to depart immediately and so we returned to the Aspect of Bahamut that had brought us from Sayre and he begrudgingly sent us on our way.

Inside the tunnels below the city we encountered more of the ominous red ore we had seen before in areas tied to the Elemental Chaos. A strange howling wind was blowing and, unsurprisingly, the tunnels were inhabited. We faced off against a few slaads and their minions. We were able to handily defeat them without much trouble. And so we continued onward in search of the portal that would take us inside the city.

The Way of the Bat: Justice Tempered in Darkness – Chapter 9, Part: 3 (EXCERPTS)

Too late to intercept Dakranad at Bahamut’s Palace, we rushed to Moradin’s Forge to get the Creation Spark. We arrived to find the forge guarded by a Storm Titan who, as legend has it, was defeated by Moradin in the Dawn War. Moradin had put the titan to service as his personal guard. It took some convincing from all of us, but we were able to talk the titan into standing aside rather than fighting us. That doesn’t happen very often.

Inside the forge we found a very powerful hydra; Moradin had more surprises than just the titan. The hydra lashed out at us. It was joined by some constructs that one would expect to find in Moradin’s temple. We were able to defeat them all fairly quickly. And the temple was otherwise deserted.

Deeper in the temple we found the Holy Forge. An aspect of Moradin greeted us. He told us that while he believed we had noble intentions, we had been deceived. After explaining Dispater’s manipulation of Dakranad at length, and informing him of all we had discovered along our journey, Moradin’s aspect became furious that he had also played into the plans of Dakranad and Dispater. He gave us the Creation Spark and wished us luck against Dakranad.

With the Spark, we only needed to confront Dakranad, rescue Amyria, and restore Bahamut. We quickly flew to the top of the peak from where the bridge stretched into a wall of golden fire. Dakranad was waiting for us, and Amyria was lying by his feet. Behind Dakranad, guarding the way across the bridge, stood a large angel who stood there armed with a sword that shone with the same golden fire that stretched across the bridge. Dakranad was arguing with the angel as we stepped onto the bridge. Dakranad turned to face us and demanded the Creation Spark. He claimed he needed it to “save the world” by taking Bahamut’s place.

The rage that had built up in all of us along the way to this point was unleashed. Tzolek and Ithyk especially, having been forced to restrain their attacks on so many of the angels we encountered, and furious at Dakranad’s betrayal, howled with fury as they charged towards Dakranad. I was able to rush ahead and hurl Dakranad towards the angel, who attacked Dakranad for attempting to cross the bridge. Madmartigan’s Men and Ithyk closed in, putting Dakranad in the center of a whirlwind of attacks. Dakranad barely mustered a defense against our attacks and quickly fell. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Tzolek or Ithyk as delighted at an enemy’s fall as I did in that moment.

With Dakranad no longer a threat, we were able to convince the angel that we were working to restore Bahamut. The angel allowed us to continue and we used the Creation Spark to awaken Amyria. She now understood that Bahamut had secretly hidden his spirit inside her in order to protect himself. She needed to carry the spark through the golden fire which would allow her to sacrifice herself to resurrect Bahamut.

We said our final goodbyes to Amyria and then watched as she walked across the bridge and disappeared into the golden fire. The moments seemed to pass painfully slowly, but then Bahamut emerged from the fire, reborn in all his glory. Bahamut thanked us for rescuing him from death and protecting Amyria.

With Bahamut restored, our attention now shifts toward Tiamat…

Madmartigan's Journal: Book Three, page 9
Plop, plop. Sizzle, sizzle. That's the sound of a teabagged devil.

So we killed Dispater. He’s kind of had a hard on for us for awhile now, seeing how we keep interrupting his plans and roughing up his minions. I guess he figured he could get the job done. I offered him a chance to flee, more to save time than for any mercy towards a Lord of Hell, and he actually started listening to me. I’m not sure who was more surprised, the Men or myself. It was like I suddenly had all the right words in my head.
Of course, Dispater had to go and ask for the corpses of the skin golden dragons, which I figured Bahamut would be pissed about, so I said no and cold-cocked him. Our talks let me get close enough and I guess he didn’t anticipate me having quite the reach I do now that I’m all big and shit.
I squatted, plopped my balls on his head (singed some hair off, too. My man is muy caliente), and then started killing devils with reckless abandon. It was a real hoot.
He was tough, but Madmartigan’s Men & Ithyk were tougher. Duh. You’d think nobody had heard of us still. Oh well, it’s their strangling.

The Way of the Bat: Justice Tempered in Darkness – Chapter 9, Part: 2 (EXCERPTS)

Following the attack on the temple we quickly regrouped and decided that our first priority had to be trying to rescue Amyria. With that in mind we decided to head straight to the Platinum Palace, where Bahamut’s former throne was now occupied by Dakranad.

When we reached the palace it was filled with devils and some angels who had once served Bahamut. We showed mercy to the angels once again, but we gave no quarter to the devils. After tearing through the initial opposition, we rushed further into the palace. We found a chamber that was filled with the slain golden priests of Bahamut. The seven golden dragons had been visciously murdered and callously left on the chamber floor. Seeing the raw evidence of Dakranad’s corruption was infuriating, but we pressed on.

We reached the main palace and found Dispater himself, as well as some of his guards. Dispater took the opportunity to rub in our faces how fully he was able to turn Dakranad against Bahamut, and how he was able to slay Bahamut’s seven gold dragon priests. When Dispater spoke of successfully stopping the resurrection of Bahamut we interjected. He had not yet succeeded in that goal. After offering Dispater a chance to flee, he made a counter-offer that we could not agree to. The inevitable battle broke out and spanned the chamber.

The battle against Dispater and his guards was brutal, but Madmartigan’s Men and Ithyk were victorious. The Lord of Dis fell before us like so many before had, and with his loss we see hope in our further success. We need to stop Dakranad. We need to rescue Amyria. We need the Spark from Moradin’s forge.

We need to bring back Bahamut.

The Way of the Bat: Justice Tempered in Darkness – Chapter 9, Part: 1 (EXCERPTS)

After securing the Arrow of Fate and fighting off Guionne and his devil minions, we returned to Sayre. Upon arriving we learned that Amyria’s condition had deteriorated severely. Bejen was at a loss and urged us to depart for the plane of Celestia, where we could hopefully find help for Amyria in the city of Jusor.

Tzolek was carrying Amyria as we made our way to our ship. But before we could reach it their was a thunderous howl that echoed from the sky. When we looked up we saw a group of warriors running towards us. They were actually running through the air, in similar manner to the way Ithyk takes to the air from time to time.

When the warriors landed in front of us their leader introduced himself as the Erlking, the Master of the Wild Hunt. He apparently makes a habit out of seeking out the most skilled warriors he can find and challenging them to mortal combat. The Erlking and his hunting party launched their attack, but they found that we were a quarry they could not defeat. With the knowledge that we needed to get Amyria to Celestia as quickly as possible we fought hard and defeated the so-called, Master of the Hunt.

We quickly set sail for Celestia. Verne was able to use a ritual to allow us to cross the barrier between planes and we soon found ourselves in Jusor. We were greeted by a small group that included a friend. It was Kalad, the dwarven monk. He had died in the later battles fought against the Githyanki. Moradin was pleased with Kalad’s service, however, and so he made Kalad one of his exalted servants who would be stationed in Jusor. While saddened that he died, we were happy to see him so rewarded by his god.

After we finished catching up with Kalad, we moved on to the business at hand. How do we restore Bahamut to life? And what can be done for Amyria? With the help of Kalad and the others, we discovered that Bahamut had foreseen what was to come. Before he died he placed a portion of his essence into the sword that we had found in Rivenroar, the same one that we used to restore Amyria originally. With that act, Amyria and Bahamut are now connected. We need something called the Creation Spark, which is in Moradin’s forge, and we need to bring that spark, along with the Arrow of Fate, across the Bridge of Al-Sihal here in Celestia. If we can do that, then Bahamut would be reborn.

Of course we need to do this while making sure that Dakranad does not get his claws on the spark and Bahamut’s mantle, which he most certainly wants to do in order to claim Bahamut’s power. As we were discussing our plans, the temple we were in was beset upon by a force of angels, devils, and silver dragons. We ran outside to face them and were able to convince the angels to leave, by appealing to their loyalty to Bahamut and letting them know that in our previous battles we did not kill any of their fellow divines.

The devils and the dragons, however, did not leave. We fought a battle that raged across the rooftops and streets of Jusor around the temple. In the end we were victorious, but it was a costly victory. When we reentered the building we found that another group of devils had attacked, and they took Amyria. We need to get to Dakranad and stop him. Bahamut, Amyria, and the lives of countless others are at stake.

Madmartigan's Journal: Book Three, pages 7-8
Big time!

I got a new toy. I ripped the Arrow of Fate out of the biggest giant I’ve ever seen, after the Men & Ithyk laid the smack down on him. It’s neat! It turns into different weapons and sizes, lets me breathe fire and competes with the other voice in my head. Oh boy, it’s getting crowded in there. Luckily my head is bigger now, so there’s more room.
I got some new swords, too. Now that I’m big I want big swords in my big hands. Being big is fun! No wonder Ithyk is always laughing.
Amyria is sick. A ghost dwarf we used know told us it was because Bahamut was inside her, or something. I didn’t get it. So we hopped in the Ship Victorious, defeated the king of Goblins real quick, and took off. Eachthigrn came to me in a dream to tell me how proud he is of me for standing up to him. It was fun!
In the holy city we flew to (warped to), thanks brain! (you’re welcome). Warped to. What a fun word. We warped to Celestia to steal the fire from Moradin to do something on a bridge and make Bahamut pull out. I think. Usually Kage pays attention to that stuff for me.
Anyway, we fought some dragons and devils, a fun name for a game, and the butts stole Amyria!
OK, I stopped bleeding. Time to go kick some dragon tail.

Madmartigan's Journal: Book Three, page 6
Pissing off the Gods, for Justice!

So we stormed the angel island, beat the piss out of several of them, and then proceeded to break a bunch of ancient Godly seals to steal a super charged arrow, all while a Titan approached, bent on killing us all. In other words, my day has been fucking amazing.
We used the Exodus knife to buy us a little rest time and I finished the last of the head Eachthigrn told me to eat last night.
I woke up big. Like, Ithyk big. My clothes were all ripped to shreds and my swords all look tiny in my hands, not a problem I’m used to. I made some quick adjustments to my armor so it didn’t look like I borrowed my little brother’s leathers, and ate most of our food stores. I’m still hungry, but not ravenous anymore. I guess this is what Eachthigrn was talking about. I hope I don’t get bigger. On the upside, Mr. Pokington stayed the same size. He looks small on my new body, but if he was proportionate I might really hurt someone.
Apparently it’s clobbering time. I’ll check back in once we give this Titan a Roman War Helmet.


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